Superbowl Sunday, The Commercial Way

I am sitting on the couch, and have been since 3:20 when Idina Menzel sang the National Anthem. I have in the last few days, acquired what I affectionately call “the crud,” a rasping gravelly cough, and mucus in all the sinus crevices above my nose. I am well through my first box of kleenex and mini Purell bottle. I don’t have an appetite for wings other than those which would transport me away from this cold.

So what am I doing? I am, of course, watching the commercials for the Superbowl. I’ve been working on a report for work, pausing only to look up to watch the commercials. In the final two minutes of the first half, I was literally quivering with anticipation for the half time show and the commercials. Or maybe chills and a fever.

Usually we have a pretty solid no-commercial policy in our home. Either my husband’s or my finger knows the way to the mute button. But today, when I was in the kitchen getting some cranberry juice, I heard the sound be silenced and I ran into the room, saying, “NO! We have to see the commercials! They are the best part!”

I have already wept three times in the game- and I literally haven’t been watching the game to tell you what I am not weeping about in the game itself. I wept at:

The Budweiser #Bestbuds commercial about the lost puppy wandering through traffic until he is saved by the Lippanzer horses from being devoured by a coyote/wolf on the hilltop over his home. 

The father/son appreciation commercial that ended endorsing Dove deodorant.

The Nissan commercial about the race car driver who was a terrible father all through his child’s development and then got a warm forgiving hug from him when he picked him up from senior high in his new Nissan, while the boy’s long suffering mother was completely forgotten.

I have seen the Microsoft commercial about the little boy with prosthetic legs and feet unmistakably like Olympic runner Oskar Pistorius’s. That is disturbing. I know, you think I’m being hateful, but the designers of that commercial had to know some of us would go there.

So, we just watched the Half Time Show, which began with a Pepsi commercial, showing a Pepsi vending machine lifting off, then a Pepsi truck, cans from a garage band’s cooler, a blue wig from a wig display. Katy Perry appeared, astride a huge multifaceted metal tiger puppet with red glowing eyes. The Tiger and Katy were surrounded by large changing light balls, held by prone people, whose black gloved hands were visible near the bottom of the balls. Katy continued to sing on the back of the tiger, which bucked as it and she roared,  backwards through the actions of the puppeteers. Cut to the second song’s set, a Chessboard with chess piece dancers, and trippy lights that changed the appearance of the plane she was standing on. Her gymnastic metal rooks and castles danced around, the floor changing to look like they were standing on various levels of columns. Cut to Lenny Kravitz  who sang on yet a third set, dressed  in an open to the waist leather jacket. Pyro fans flamed behind Lenny and Katy as they sang.

One more costume and set change took us to a beach set, where Katie’s flirty costume featured circular beach ball cups. She was surrounded by inflated dancing sharks and beach balls, trees with eyes and flaps through which you can see the hands of the puppeteers operating them. Dancing surfboards in bright yellow and pink, baby blue and dark blue ran around her on the stage. Dancers holding little abbreviated wave icons wrapped the stage as Katie was joined by eight polkadot clad dancers with colored socks and sneakers matching their bikinis.

The fourth set showed Missy Elliott and eight dancers joining Katy who had undergone yet another costume change, into an oversized jersey with a large 49 on it. Complicated graphics danced on the floor, while Missy and her dancers sang Music Makes You Lose Control.

The last costume Katy appeared in was silver off-the-shoulder gown, with stars on it as she crooned, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag floating through the air?” No, Katy I don’t, though I appreciate that this is your fifth costume change and you’re now flying up on a star rig, that is spinning with your loyal ball people on the ground. There are significant sparks flying from your star rig as you make your way around the stadium at 20 feet over everyone’s heads. Fireworks outside the stadium worried me about where you were in relation to those. At least your comet tail was no longer flaming and the show ended with you still in the high position over the field, as you cooly raised your arms in triumph. Good show!

Maybe I will take a snooze while I wait for the first commercials of the second half.